Writing an obituary can feel hard when you are grieving. This guide will help you write a clear, respectful, and meaningful obituary. It covers what to include, how to structure it, and examples to make it easier. You can use this guide for newspapers, funeral websites, or online memorials.
What Is an Obituary?
An obituary is a short written notice that announces someone’s death and celebrates their life. It usually includes key facts about the person, funeral details, and a few words about who they were. You can think of it as a public message of remembrance.
Purpose of an Obituary
- To inform people about the death.
- To share funeral or memorial details.
- To celebrate the person’s life, values, and achievements.
- To thank people or organisations for support.
Before You Start Writing
Gather the key facts first. It helps you write quickly and accurately. Check with other family members to make sure all details are correct and no one is left out.
Information to Collect
- Full name (including maiden name, if relevant)
- Age and date of death
- Place of birth and place of death
- Close family members (spouse, children, parents, siblings)
- Education or work highlights
- Major life events and achievements
- Community or charity involvement
- Funeral or memorial information
- Preferred charity or cause for donations (if any)
How to Structure an Obituary
Most obituaries follow a simple structure. You can adapt it to fit your tone, space, or publication rules.
1. Announcement of Death
Start with a clear, factual statement. Include the full name, age, and date of death. You can also mention where they lived or died.
Example: “John Peter Smith, aged 78, passed away peacefully at home on 2 November 2025.”
2. Brief Biography
Include basic background information such as where they were born, what they did, and any major life events. Keep it factual but personal.
Example: “Born in Manchester in 1947, John worked as a teacher for over 40 years and was well known for his kindness and dedication to education.”
3. Personal Life and Character
Add a few sentences that show who they were as a person. Mention hobbies, values, and relationships that defined them.
Example: “He loved gardening, jazz music, and spending time with his grandchildren. Friends describe him as gentle and generous.”
4. Family Members
List surviving and predeceased family members. You can use short groupings if the family is large.
Example: “He is survived by his wife Mary, his three children Sarah, Tom, and Alice, and six grandchildren. He was predeceased by his brother, Michael.”
5. Funeral or Memorial Details
Share when and where the service will be held, or if it will be private. Mention dress code or donation preferences.
Example: “A funeral service will take place at St. Mary’s Church, Chester, on Friday 8 November at 11 a.m. Donations in John’s memory can be made to Cancer Research UK.”
6. Closing Message
End with a short farewell, thank-you, or quotation. It can express love, peace, or gratitude.
Example: “Forever in our hearts.”
Tips for Writing a Meaningful Obituary
- Keep it simple: Use short sentences and plain words. Focus on facts and warmth.
- Be accurate: Double-check names, dates, and spellings.
- Stay respectful: Avoid personal disputes or sensitive details.
- Show personality: Include one or two details that reflect the person’s life or humour.
- Ask for feedback: Let a family member review it before publishing.
Common Mistakes to Avoid
- Writing too much detail about family disagreements or private issues.
- Forgetting to include the date and location of the funeral.
- Using long, complex sentences.
- Misspelling names or omitting key relatives.
- Forgetting to check newspaper word limits or online submission rules.
How Long Should an Obituary Be?
A standard obituary for a local newspaper is about 150–250 words. Online memorials can be longer, up to 500 words or more. If the person had a notable public life, you can include more detail, but keep each section concise.
Where to Publish an Obituary
You can publish the obituary in several places depending on your goals and budget:
- Local newspaper: Ideal for reaching local friends and the community.
- Funeral home website: Often free and linked to online tributes.
- Online memorial platforms: Websites such as Legacy.com or MuchLoved.com.
- Social media: Simple way to share the message widely with photos and memories.
How to Write an Obituary That Feels Personal
Even if you follow a basic structure, your words can still show warmth and individuality. Try these ideas:
- Include a quote the person loved.
- Mention a memorable habit or saying.
- Describe their values — for example, kindness, humour, or resilience.
- Share one small story that sums up their character.
Example: “Jane’s laugh filled every room. She never let anyone leave without a smile or a cup of tea.”
Should You Include the Cause of Death?
This is a personal choice. You don’t have to include it unless you want to. Some families mention it for openness or public awareness (for example, after a long illness or charity involvement). Others prefer privacy. Either is fine.
Using Templates or Examples
If you are unsure where to start, you can adapt an obituary template. Many funeral directors or websites provide free examples. Look at sites such as Funeral Guide or Dignity Funerals for samples.
SEO-Friendly Questions and Answers About Writing an Obituary
Who writes an obituary?
Usually, a close family member writes it. Sometimes a funeral director or friend helps. For public figures, a journalist might write it.
When should you publish an obituary?
Ideally within a few days after death, once funeral arrangements are confirmed. Some people wait until after the service if it is private.
How do you submit an obituary to a newspaper?
Check the newspaper’s website for instructions. You can usually submit it by email or an online form. Ask about costs and deadlines. Attach a photo if allowed.
Can you write your own obituary in advance?
Yes. Some people write their own obituary to make things easier for their family. It can also ensure that their life story is told in their own words.
What makes a good obituary headline?
Keep it clear and factual. Example: “In Loving Memory of Sarah Louise Carter (1950–2025)”. Avoid puns or humour unless the person would have wanted that style.
Checklist Before You Publish
- ✔ All names and dates checked
- ✔ Funeral details confirmed
- ✔ Word count fits publication limit
- ✔ Proofread by another person
- ✔ Contact details for enquiries (optional)
Summary
Writing an obituary is an act of love and respect. You don’t need to be a writer to do it well. Focus on the person’s story, keep it honest and kind, and follow a simple structure. This helps others remember them clearly and fondly.
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